“Why making love though? Why softness and sensuality? Why do I have to access allowance and surrender?”
…. an overflow of thoughts and devotional notes from the retreat I’m co-facilitating in La Fortuna, CR. Workshop portal: Making Love to Life.
Before I initiated my own baptism in the river yesterday, I taught a class that morning and I heard- immediately, as I was coming out of meditative prep, “I don’t want theatrics. I don’t want performance. I don’t want overly sensual metaphors that confuse the room. I want a grown, grounded, spiritually potent, nervous-system-opening teaching that ANY adult at ANY stage of awakening can receive.
So, Yes- Let me be VERY clear — When I say making love to life, I am NOT talking about sex.
For some people, sex was never safe. Never pleasurable. Never freeing. Never nourishing. So the phrase ‘making love’ can feel triggering or confusing because the body only knows it through the lens of discomfort.
But in spiritual language — in somatic language — in YOUR original design…
making love means: moving through the world with presence, softness, curiosity, and openness to being met.
It has NOTHING to do with intercourse and EVERYTHING to do with the sacral center, which governs:
creativity
pleasure-as-aliveness
emotional flow
intuition
receiving
connection
relationship with desire
the ability to FEEL instead of numb
The sacral center is not sexual — sex is just one tiny doorway inside a whole temple of power.
Sensuality is not sexual either. Sensuality means: “of the senses.” Your senses are how you read the world. Your senses are your first spiritual gifts.
If sex was harmful or disconnected in the past, the sacral center STILL belongs to you. It wasn’t created for sex. It was created for:
creativity
movement
expression
embodiment
emotional intelligence
joy
connection
intuitive knowing
and the ability to RECEIVE support, ease, and abundance
So when I say making love to life, I mean:
“Approach your life the way you would approach something you want to experience deeply — with attention, breath, softness, curiosity, and presence.”
If we remove the sexual meaning, what’s left is spiritual truth:
You cannot receive what you are bracing against. You cannot welcome what you refuse to soften for. You cannot feel met if you never allow yourself to be approached.”
This is not about sex. This is about ACCESS.
You use your sacral center every day; when you choose, when you create, when you feel, when you listen to your instincts, when you say yes to what expands you and no to what drains you.
Sex is ONE expression of sacral energy — but not the definition of it.
Accessing sensuality (the senses) is how you unlock:
abundance
alignment
ease
clarity
intuition
embodiment
joy
This is why softness matters. This is why surrender matters. Not because of sex — but because of somatic safety.”
I’m not asking you to make love like you’ve done with another person. I’m asking you to make love the way your SOUL knows how to move — with breath, with attention, with presence, with intention.
Because, remember :
Your sacral center is not sexual — it is creative, intuitive, and receptive. When we heal it, we heal the way life is allowed to come toward us.
That’s the medicine.
Let’s Practice, Practitioner.
I want to know what your body hears when I say the phrase Making Love to Life.
Not what it ‘should’ mean…
What it does mean right now, honestly.
A. What is the most dominant feeling that surfaces?
(Examples: confusion, curiosity, discomfort, openness, longing.)
B. What is the most dominant thought?
(Examples: sex, intimacy, vulnerability, spirituality, pleasure, fear.)
C. What is the most dominant reaction?
(Examples: tighten, smile, shut down, open up, cringe, lean in.)
D. What is the most dominant response arising in you?
(Examples: “I want to understand,” “I want to run,” “This feels silly,” “This feels exciting,” “This feels confusing.”)
Let the answers breathe.
You’re not correcting — you’re witnessing.
This inquiry alone will drop you into the body and out of performance.
But, still….this may not be for everyone.
I’m speaking to those specifically in this season of life — late 30s into 50s — three things happen at this time:
Desire becomes clearer.
Non-negotiables become sharper.
Patterns become louder.
There’s a level of spiritual adulthood required to continue this inquiry:
“What do you desire that you are now READY for?”
“What do you desire that your body still hesitates around?”
“Which pattern feels like it’s aging out of your life?”
“Where is your softness trying to reopen?”
At this stage in our lives, we’re moving out of perfectionism and into wisdom.
….which brings me to the baptism I mentioned earlier. deep sigh.
And this is why I began the day speaking about Making Love to Life.
Because it’s one thing to teach softness, surrender, receptivity, and being met by the world…
and it’s another thing entirely to be dragged—lovingly—into the very initiation your own spirit has been avoiding.
I knew, when I gave those women the instruction to “stay in receptive posture all day long,” that the assignment had my name on it too. I didn’t know I would end the day standing inside a river; inside the element I’ve feared since childhood- that has held both my deepest medicine and my earliest trauma.
Water has always been my teacher, my altar, my reset button… but only in doses I could control. Baths? Yes. Ritual bowls? Absolutely. Showers and ocean mermaid pools when I’m held by the Earth? That too.
But an entire river, alive and moving on its own terms?
That was a different kind of invitation.
And when I stepped into that water, nothing about me was in “receiving posture.”
My body panicked.
My breath scattered.
My chest tightened.
Every childhood imprint tried to pull me back to land. There was nothing poetic about it. My nervous system chose survival mode over spirituality. And still—life kept meeting me.
My partner on one side two other women-one in front and one behind me like earth angels, like mermaids who knew the language of water better than I ever have.
Their hands, their presence, their anchoring.
My trembling. My breath fighting me and then slowly returning. And then—something opened. Not because I made it open. Not because I forced my way through fear. But because somewhere along the line, I remembered what I told everyone else that morning:
“Making love to life is not about control.
It’s about being willing to be met.”
And so I let the river meet me. I let the water hold me. I let my chest open. I let the tears fall. I let the ceremony happen to me, not because of me. And for the first time in a long time, I didn’t negotiate with grace—I received it. And that, right there, became the teaching.
Not the workshop notes.
Not the beautifully curated language.
Not the somatic tools or nervous system practices.
But the lived moment where life approached me with something I desired and feared… and I didn’t run.
This is the part I want to leave you with:
Making love to life will always ask you to soften in the same places you’ve armored.
To trust in the places you’ve controlled.
To breathe where you once held your breath.
And to receive in the very places where trauma once taught you to refuse.
Yesterday, the river became my lover. Not in a sexual way—but in the way that life loves us when we finally stop resisting the parts that terrify and transform us. And when I walked back up that mountain trail—through the rain, the mud, the wrong shoes, the cows greeting us like oracles—
I realized something:
I began the day teaching Making Love to Life…
and ended the day being taught by it.
Thank you for sharing this. I needed that. Now to go out and truly make love to life. ♥️