Making Love to Life: Embodiment
I began asking myself if I trusted my own gifts and services.
More Softness. More Nurturing. More Naps.
The last couple of years have felt like I’ve been in a deep transmutation tank and now the water has been drained out and I am coming back online- gasping for air. This air feels different in my lungs. This air has a new aroma. This air is palpable. It’s crisp. I can sense this air. I am in this air. I am this air.
There has been this ongoing narrative in the healing community that we have to try all the things and use all the tools and book all the retreats and compare all the coaches to see which ‘one’ is gonna bring me closer to myself?, which class is gonna make me feel better?, which god/goddess archetype is gonna help me find my true identity (or niche)?
But what If I told you that we don’t need finding…or fixing. I decided to test this theory with real-time shifts and actions in my life. So, I asked myself- at nap time-every day for 30 days, “What do you think it would take for you to embody the fullness of who you are without fear of needing to tap dance or perform a magic trick; to feel deserving and to know you were designed with strategy, sacred fire and precision of flavor and finesse?” And Oh, did I answer back! Through all the experiences I’ve encountered since 2020, this is the balm that was smeared across my heart: “There’s nothing you need to do to live a life of optimal orgasmic flow; except to already know and believe that you can live a life of optimal orgasmic flow.”
Heart Check.
How does that feel in your body?
Ok, now let’s start here.
One step at a time.
1. Service yourself
I remember one of my mentors telling me not to forsake the moments and experiences that come to reveal who we are as a person, removed from solely reacting to stimuli and circumstances. First of all, Whew. Like…what? Ok, I understood that she hadn’t developed deep aspirations or goals until she made it well past her 60s. However, she further explained that she had exhausted the desire for alignment by focusing too much on either reacting or responding to life. She asked a favor of me, “Dear Heart, just be in love. Be in love with life. Be in service to life. Be less in defense, shame, and guilt and life will send people into your world to show you how to be of service to yourself.”
2. Celebrate Yourself
So, I proceeded to ask my mentor- “Well isn’t that the point? To live your life so incredible that you elude death and acquire a home as a symbol of wealth and abundant experience?” Her laugh and eye roll had said enough. What I know for sure is that we keep gaining and losing identities as we adapt to ever-changing futures. I now know what my mentor had been trying to tell me since the day I took a leave of absence from the clinic and integrative medicine school, The freedom is in the shapeshifting. And my ‘self-care’ celebrations could be mistaken as fraudulent. Even in my rebellion, I had wasted so much time thinking I had something to prove. Let me prove to myself that I really do know how to celebrate all the parts of me, including my decisions.
3. Be Diligent in Your Alchemy
Much of what I offer and how I show up in community is directly linked to the way I embody my gifts. I don’t have a business, I am the business. I don’t have a brand, I am the brand. My ability to market energetically is connected to my energetic vibration. Now filter all of this through the lens of a wild and wise mama. A physical and spiritual life partner. A Bloodline cleanser. A priestess.
I began to wonder in my heaviest spaces, how could I even be deserving of my own alchemy. Do I have the strength, let alone desire, to even service myself? Last year was the first year I started imagining being able to offer all of my insight and all of my sovereignty integrated with all the parts of me. All of me at every stage. Can you imagine? The reward of diligence and spiritual audacity. I ‘get to’ show up. I also get to honor my emotional availability. I don’t need content, just unadulterated contentment. My desires don’t mimic what culture tells me I should want.
I. just. need. to. love. life.
Nothing to do. Everything to be. This is Embodiment.
I would love to meet you here monthly….maybe even weekly. A less overstimulating, more in-depth read with Devotional Heart Checks…. how does that feel?
Devotional #HeartCheck for March:
How do you alchemize what you’re moving through?
Do you see your life as something to DO or something to BE?
What is your word of embodiment for March?